Sweet! Sah-weet! Schweet!

Here’s the roundup:

1.| It is my awesome sister’s birthday today! HOLLA! To celebrate I found the fake car key she had accidentally lost in my bathroom wastebasket. You don’t want to know.

2.| I was encouraged by one of my professors to submit a proposal for giving a paper at a conference. Since my compy crashed, it looks like I may not be able to do it this time, but it was a nice compliment.

3.| My husband is a wonderful cook. He made broccoli and cauliflower resemble couscous. If it weren’t for his cooking, I’d have quit this new diet Maintainable New Lifetime Way of Eating.

4.| Ricotta cheese + peanut butter + cinnamon = reason to live.

5.| My buddy Craig Ferguson. I love the filthy-mouthed Scotsman. His shenanigans are my lifeline through the hell that is sugar withdrawal. True story.

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Not a whole lot funny about sugar withdrawal. My day was so focused on my physical discomfort that it was harder than usual to knock out even a few ideas. So, I’m keepin’ it short, distracting myself, and hoping I feel better tomorrow.

I kept wondering all day what it would be like to be in withdrawal from something serious. I can’t even imagine.

So: I’m thanking my lucky stars that…frosting….chocolate frosting…shortbread…dates…carrot cake…carrrottttttt caaaaaaaaaake…cream-filled bismarcks…peeeanut butttterrrrr cuuuuuupppps…

*Tremble* *Shake* *Whimper*

Workin' It

Today was my first day back after a few days of "fake-cation." Here's what I have to report:

1 |  I appreciate the fact that my workplace is flexible. I was able to change a requested day off, and nobody thought it was a big deal.

2 |  One of my co-workers took care of an onerous task that I was dreading while I was away. I hadn't asked her to do it, but I came back and it was done. So much for the time spent dreading...

3 |  I have opportunities to be outside in the sunshine a few times a day.

4 |  I was so busy today that the time went by quickly. Although it was verra noisy in the office, I still got done the most important tasks of the day. 

5 |  My new boss did something very cool for me today. No BS, and my request was honored. She made it clear that she feels I'm important and that she'll do the things that are in her power to keep me as happy as I can be there. Her actions are appreciated.

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"My life has been filled with many misfortunes, most of which never happened."  - Montaigne

So...dread. I mentioned above that I was dreading a task I am very bad at. Things with too many steps to remember are frustrating to me. Even more frustrating was the fact that I had wasted time dreading it. It never occurred to me that my co-worker would have taken care of it.

My overactive imagination dreams up scenarios that usually never come to pass. There have been times where I have planned a tough conversation, only to have the person not show up for work that day. I've been nervous about meetings that were cancelled, plans that were jettisoned, tasks that were re-assigned.

What a colossal waste of my time. But how to stop it? I've been working on being more aware of the present. Sometimes I'm successful and sometimes I'm not. This morning I woke up at 4 a.m. worried about things that really didn't merit attention at that time in the morning. I'm not good at problem solving at that time of the day, and being awake that early just made it harder to take on the day.

What usually works for me is to tell myself, "you can worry about that tomorrow after 9 a.m." It almost always does the trick. The other thing that works is to keep a notepad by the bed, and jot down worries as they come. Even better is to take some time out of the day - only a set amount of time - and worry my brains out onto a piece of paper.

I'm actually glad I had that bout with insomnia. It reminded me of the work I need to do to take care of myself and avoid dread.

What about you? Do you have any tried-and-true ways to put out the dread-fires before they fry your brain to a crisp? Let me know in the comments below.

Thanks, Everybody!

Here’s the roundup:

1|  I am extremely flattered and grateful that some of you have told me that you like this blog. Since it is both fun to write, and people like it…well, that’s pretty happymaking, right there.

2 |  So far on the new eating plan, I’m not hungry at all. It is kind of weirding me out, but I am grateful that my stomach hasn’t: a.) complained too much, b.) been upset, or c.) crawled up my esophagus and found someplace else to live.

3 |  Cooking brings me joy. I love the way my house smells. I love the process. I enjoy the mission of gathering everything I need and then composing something delicious. I love the way Matt and I work together in the kitchen. We know each other well enough that it is an intricate, coordinated dance. We cooperate effortlessly, sweeping by one another, moving aside and around, without actually touching, but feeling intimate just the same.

4 |  Got to sit on the porch and read a cheesy mystery novel for a while, out in the sunshine.

5 |  Despite the fact that my feet hurt pretty badly, taking a walk with Matt after supper was nice. It gave us unplugged time to chat, make decisions, solve problems and gawp at the neighbors’ gardens.

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Work is the single-most difficult area for me to find happiness right now. I miss being a full-time writer. I miss the solitude of that profession, and the fact that the only demands that are placed on you are the ones you place on yourself. I struggle with it every day.

What about you? Are you one of the lucky ones who loves what you do? If you don’t love it, are there enough parts of it that don’t suck to make it worth your time? Are you able to separate who you are from what you do? Are you just there for the paycheck?

I go back tomorrow after a few days off. I am determined to find something that makes me happy. Check in tomorrow to see if I can do it.

Knowing When You Have it Good?

Here’s the take for today:

.5 | This was half yesterday and half today, so I’m putting it at .5. It’s called “Perfectimundo,” and it occurs when I have clean sheets, clean jammies, and clean me, all in the same bed together. Bliss!

1 | I got to stay in my pj’s until about one p.m. today.

2 | I had the chance to laugh with my sister today. She’s funny. We don’t have the same sense of humor, but we do. I know that sounds weird, but we can pretty much always make each other laugh. We also accomplished a lot today, and that made her happy.

3 | My car has this feature where the volume on the cd player comes up slowly when you first start the ignition, so you don’t pee your pants when you forget you were jamming out last time you were in the car.  Also, singing out loud in the car. Big happy payload on that.

4 | The weather here today has turned out gloriously. It is a perfect temperature and the sunlight is beautiful.

5 | Commercials! I only have Netflix for t.v., so when I get to watch commercials after having not seen them for a long time, I’m just gobsmacked. Matt and I went out for dinner, and we sat at the bar. I couldn’t even hear the commercials but I was still agog. Like this one for Toshiba that has zombies in it? What is up with that!?! Hilarious!

6 | The Last Supper. You know the one. The meal right before the day where you’re starting your new diet Lifelong Maintainable New Way of Eating!!! !! !

It’s one of the few times when I’m not dieting engaging in my Lifelong Maintainable New Way of Eating that I can indulge and not feel guilty. Not even a little bit.

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One of my student workers bought me a gift. It was a magnetic to do list, with a picture of a 1950s woman smiling. The caption says “Happy? If by happy, you mean trapped with no means of escape, then yes. I’m happy.”

I was reminded of that quote when I was thinking about today’s post. Although the jokey caption is kind of snarky, it begs the question: “What qualifies as happy?” Is it indulgence in a favorite pastime, like reading or watching t.v.? Or is that just an escape? When I’m upset, I listen to podcasts and play solitaire to get away from my thoughts. I wouldn’t say it makes me happy, but it keeps unhappiness at bay. Is mitigating unhappiness the same as being happy?

What about stuff like cleaning? Although I didn’t “enjoy” cleaning my basement and putting away all Matt’s tools, I did get a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment. It enabled him to work on a bunch of projects he would otherwise not have been able to. Is ‘satisfied with a job well done’ happy? And if so, boy howdy, I sure could get super-happy all over my kitchen floor.

How about being nice to somebody you really, really don’t like? Even though the experience is probably painful, getting to the end of it and thinking, “I handled that well,” can be satisfying. But does that qualify as happy? Are being happy and being nice the same thing? I don’t think so, but they have to be related.

I guess I’ll just have to decide as I go along. What about you? What, for you, counts as happiness? Does it depend on all the stars aligning and everything being perfect? Or can you string together the intermittent pearls of life’s simple pleasures and create a necklace to hang over your heart?

Finding the Gold in the Silt

Today’s hunt for happiness was extremely challenging, since I started the day with an absolutely nasty headache. I thought I caught it soon enough with migraine pills, but it just hung on and on. Ice pack: some relief but still wicked. Allergy remedy next: no good. Relaxation mp3: some relief. Internet search revealed that I was also rocking some dehydration. Water brought it under control enough to make it out to my nephew’s birthday for more sweaty work in the hot with a bunch of bugs biting me.

As much as it sucked to have a rampaging headache barely under control and then have to function around other people, I managed to scoop some happiness marrow out of the bones of this day:

1| Ice cream cake. With the crunchy + fudge in the middle. Frunch? Crudge? Neither word is too appetizing, but I like the sound of them anyway.

2| Amelia the Dog. I’ll be frank: I’m a cat person. Dyed in the wool. But Amelia is utterly charming. She is my sister-in-law’s chocolate lab, and she’s only one year old. When we were leaving the party, I kicked her ball off the porch and she went ape nuts going after it. She brought it back most of the way, put down the ball, and sat down, looking at me.  

I told her “bring me the ball!” in that way you talk to dogs, all excited and encouraging. She trotted over to me. I said “no, go get me the ball.” She knew from my voice that it wasn’t quite right, so she went over by the ball. I called her again. She started over without the ball again. “No, bring me the ball.” She went back, trying to figure it out. Finally, she bit the ball and I said, “atta girl!” and she brought it over. I said, “drop it.” And she did! Right away!

And so I kicked it over and over, the sunset dappling golden through the trees on the property. Every time she brought it back, I said the words I’d said before. And she remembered! It was like magic! Did I mention that she’s only one? I bet she gets into a good college!

3| That Smile. My husband gifts me with this specific smile once in a while. It’s one of my favorites. If it were a recipe, it would go like this:

Combine one part pride in your wife, with one part encouragement. Smother the whole mess in warmth and add a dash of eye twinkle. In a pinch, a smidgen of mischief can be substituted for the twinkle.

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The purpose of this exercise has been to help me pay attention more: to focus on the things that are good about my life instead of the parts that bring me down. As I trudged up and down a steep hill, helping to build a birthday gift/tree fort for my nephew, with my ankles complaining and the mosquitoes feasting, I wondered I what I would say tonight. But I continued to leaf through the pages of my day, looking for the positives…and it worked! I found them!

On a related note: I inadvertently ate/gacked a bug on one of the trips up the hill. They had been unrelentingly eating me, so I guess turnabout is fair play.

How about you? Eat any good bugs lately? Seriously, do you think that if you had to report to someone at the end of the day, you’d be able to report more on the joys than on the complaints? Give it a whirl and let me know what you find out.

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P.S. Happy Golden Birthday, Mowgli!

Today’s Catch: 6

I managed to identify | recognize | be mindful for six different happy-making things today.

1 | Take my word for it: having a day off can really go a long way toward bagging some happy. I got to wake up gradually, instead of stumbling out of bed muzzy and confused, anxious about what the day would bring.

2 | In another attempt at happiness, I helped someone today. There’s a Chinese proverb that says, “the scent of a rose will always stay on the hand of the giver.” Helping someone is said to be one of the pathways to happiness. In Gretchen Rubin’s Happiness Project, her “Second Splendid Truth” states that, “One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy; One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.”  

My mom needed some help with some planting, so my husband and I went over and created a new bed, and added hostas to an established bed. The flies were biting, I had sweat running down into my eyes and off my nose into the hosta holes, most certainly boosting their chances of success a millionfold. Although the circumstances of the work were less than ideal it looked pretty good when we were finished, and it made my mom really happy.

3 | Later, ran into some wildlife lols (wildlols?). Out in my backyard (which looks like it belongs in Narnia), I saw three squirrels…wait for it…squirreling around. They were jumping over each other in a fluid, flash-fast game of leap frog (leap squirrel?). One was white and the other two were gray. The coolness of it had me smiling.

When I was little, I loved squirrels, which I called “skooers.” They were regular features in our family argot: “You kids quit squirreling around,” or my parents would call my sister and I “squirrel bait.” It took me way longer than it should have to realize that they were saying we were nuts. Well played, Mom and Dad…well played.

4 | My friend’s biopsy came back NEGATOR! Suck it, cancer!

5 | Me and my cat, Wally, chillin’ on the couch with a book.

6 | I made someone laugh today who REALLY needed it.

 

P.S. Doing this at the end of the day might be one of the Best Ideas I’ve Had EVER.

Today's Happiness Capture

Tonight, my husband and I went to a free concert at Phoenix Park. Three bands played in the grassy amphitheatre with the labyrinth dance floor. The swollen Chippewa River and a slipping sunset served as a background.

We met my parents there, and my mom bought me ice cream (Mackinac Island Fudge). It was a beautiful night, and it was fun to watch the people enjoying themselves.

Kids danced and bopped beach balls to each other on the bricks of the labyrinth. Band members gamely tossed or kicked balls back into the fray, without missing a beat.

Later, after the bands were done and the sun had set, fire spinners performed for the remaining stragglers who were enjoying themselves too much to leave. There were poi spinners and hoop spinners. Two of the poi spinners managed to set themselves on fire, but kept their cool, extinguished the flames, and kept the poi spinning. Their poise (pun intended) was impressive.

Happy accomplished!