Digging some Happy out of a Dreary Day

A few happy notes on a dreary day:

1.| One of my friends at work complimented my new hair, and asked if I always planned the coordinated debut outfit that goes perfectly with my new hair styles. When I told him that the outfit was picked out on Sunday, far before the spurious decision on the hair color, we agreed that I just knew how to work my color palette. Bwa ha ha ha! Me? Know anything about clothes? Reedicoolus.

2.| The aroma of the chana masala drew the lunch lurkers like crazy. Why, yes. Yes it does smell good. It tastes even better!

3.| The Troentorp clogs seem to be working so far. Who knew that wooden insoles could be – dare I say it – comfy. The idea was so foreign to me that I thought it at least as likely that a wooden baseball cap would feel nice on my head. Maybe one would. Who knows? That’ll teach me to keep my mind open.

4.| I’m still on the diet. I’m not losing weight real fast, but I am definitely feeling my clothes becoming looser and my mind is radically calmer. So much so that people have gone so far as to ask if anything’s wrong. Nope. Just mellow. I guess that eliminating a 24 oz coffee and 3 Diet Mountain Dews a day – plus all the hidden sugar – can help with that.

5.| I’m looking forward, in a few days, to being able to fling more “nice” around the office. An extreme impediment will soon be removed and I believe that about 250 lbs of negativity is going to be lifted off my shoulders. It could be a really fun place…we’ll see…

6.| Singing harmony with my honey. It is always fun.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

As mentioned in the previous post, stuff has been nasty-weird and bummerific lately. Some especially bad episodes have made this particular day really heavy to carry.

I’ve mentioned it before, but I know I am luckier than many. Still, our own personal “hard” belongs to us and we’re inside of it. Fighting against the tendrils that keep us down is what’s important. There are always going to be people who are better off and worse off than you are. I think that keeping that in perspective helps me to keep from getting too far down, but also gives me something to strive for.

How about you? Tell me about one happy you had today, so I can get a few vicarious thrills through you.

A Little Too Personal

Written 08/30/11

A few things that made me happy today:

1.| During the car ride home: singing inappropriate songs in a Bessie Smith voice. Like Van Halen’s “Panama.” Other favorites included Dolly Parton’s “9 to 5,” Queen’s “Another One Bites the Dust,” and the Weird Al Yankovic medley version of “Sweet Cherry Pie.”

2.| Getting a faboo haircut from the lovely Bridgett Dohmen at Rochelle’s in Eau Claire.

3.| Matt washed my hair tonight after I colored it. Having him wash my hair is one of the things I like best in the world. It turned out hella less red than I wanted, but it will fade up as it always does. Or I’ll just color it again…

4.| My shoes came in the mail! I bought a pair of Troentorp clogs at the State Fair, but they didn’t have my size there, so they shipped a pair to me and they were on my doorstep today. I love getting things in the mail. Since I hate shopping, that works out. Also, they have hobnails, which makes them extra cool.

5.| Got to connect with a friend for a while. We have the same sense of humor. We’re like little junior high boys, snickering about stupid jokes. Tonight’s gigglefest subject: Emo Phillips. It’s okay. You don’t have to understand.

6.| Andy Partridge (late of XTC) wrote the theme for “Wonderfalls,” and it still makes me happy every time I hear it. It is so complex, layered, and interesting that my brain isn’t nearly done chewing on it.

7.| I made chana masala tonight and the house smells dreamy.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

This has been a more than weird year. My lovely boss retired, and I got three new “bosses” in his place. They are lovely, too, but it will be a lot of adjusting. My parents retired and they’ll be able to relax (hopefully) and enjoy the grandkids.

Matt was diagnosed with sleep apnea and we’ve dealt with all the strange-iosity that comes with a whole new setup. In addition, he hurt his shoulder at some point last year. He is in pain a good chunk of the time. He’s done physical therapy, massage, chiropractic, cortisone shots…and nothing seems to help. It’s hard for me to see him in pain all the time. Really hard.

We are also both state employees. Under the new budget bill, we are taking home about $500 less a month. We’ve always been frugal so we will survive, but it is a big punch in the gut. Deflating, demoralizing, defenestrating…think of a word with de- in the front of it, and it probably will fit.

I’m also taking nine graduate credits next semester. Three of the credits are already mostly done, but it is still a big, looming wall of OMFG.

I guess my point is that almost every piece of ground, flooring, and carpet has shifted under my feet within the last few months. There’s more that I don’t care to share, but part of the reason I did this project was to try and mitigate some of the difficulty I’ve had with it all.

A few of you have said that you’ve enjoyed my blog and I thank you for that. When looking at the little bits of joy in my day, though, I just found that pretty much all I was talking about was what I ate. I hate it when all people talk about is what they ate. It is boring.

Relaxing...

So here’s the roundup:

1.| Slept in a iittle this morning. It felt good. Matt had to work so I got to hog the whole bed to myself and steal his body pillow.

2.| Today’s discovery: pad thai made with cabbage as the noodles.  Sweat some onions, add garlic, ginger, and soy sauce, toss in cabbage ribbons, and saute until limp. Add a little peanut butter and there you go. I also ate a bunch of cabbage noodles and garlic with beef stir fry for supper. We’ll see how that works out for me tomorrow when I’m back at work.

3.| Got in a workout while watching Le Late Late Show avec Craig Ferguson a Paris. That’s always good for a laugh; although I think he shines when he has a live studio audience. Just sayin’…

4.| Finished up my final paper for one of my classes. I thought I was done and then I was taken with a brain fever that ultimately netted me more sources and transformed the Vague Assertions I was trying to put forth into Documentable Hard Proof, suckas!

5.| Got financial aid taken care of for next year. Really, I’d rather get a filling that do financial aid stuff. For some reason, I’m scared that I’m going to screw it up, and the Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith are going to show up at my house and shine the little flashy thing at me, and I won’t remember anything I learned during my whole master’s program. Well, not really, but I do get pretty nervous that I’m going to screw it up…

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

In the past, it’s been hard for me to relax and just enjoy time to myself. With everything going on in my life, my brain is usually filled with “oughtas” and “shoulds.” On vacations, I often overstructure my time to make sure I’m not missing anything. I was tempted to do that today – to push myself to go and have ‘adventures’ and ‘experiences.’ Sometimes, I’m so busy pushing and planning that I don’t pay attention to what I really want, and end up missing out on the current experience because I’m planning the next.

I chose instead to pay attention to today. I took care of some lingering tasks that I needed to accomplish, but I did what I wanted, mindfully, and enjoyed it. I did just enough to feel like I wasn’t a complete waste of skin, but not so much that I felt hurried. I got to linger over my lunch and kick back in the sunshine on my porch with some reading material.

What about you? Do you like the pace of your life? Do you push yourself all the time, or do you really, honestly relax sometimes? If you push yourself all the time, is it because you like to, or because you feel compelled? If you try to relax, do you feel guilty about it?

Shorty

Here’s the rundown for today:

1.| I made a really yummy supper tonight. We had sundried tomato and feta-stuffed chicken breasts cooked on a bed of roasting fennel. I’d never tried fennel before. That’s what celery’s SUPPOSED to taste like. Warning: if you don’t like black licorice you’re a wussie you won’t like this.

2.| I’ve lost 4.8 lbs on the new eating plan. Not bad for one week, I must say. Hopefully, I can match it during the second week of the opening sprint. Then all my clothes will fit for fall. Yay! That means I will probably have to go shopping. Boooooo!

3.| In related news, a pair of shorts that haven’t fit all summer are now viable. Another yay! Good thing, too, because I’m sick of walking around the neighborhood in my underwear.

4.| Matt’s sleep test results came in and were not as bad as expected. He’s treatable! Hopefully soon he will be getting more than the equivalent of four hours of sleep a night. There’s also a good chance he will soon cease to sound like a lovesick walrus. And he’ll even be quiet while he’s sleeping!

5.| I sat in the sunshine playing a game for a while and managed to savor the moment with the hot sun on my arm. Bliss!

6.| I got a crack at Matt’s Esquire magazine before he did. What? A girl can’t read Esquire? Don’t be reedeecoolus.

7.| I turned in the symposium proposal. I don’t know if I did it right, but we’ll soon find out.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

So, this is the part where I muse, ponder, or blather. Today I pick…none! My poor old computer, Big Blue, is having some serious internal problems. My little netbook, EEEEE!, has been picking up the slack, but in the immortal words of Van Halen, she’s, “runnin’ a little bit hot tonight,” so I’ma go have fun.

Yesterday and Today

Yesterday

Yesterday’s happiness report is a little late, because I was out busy being happy last night. I thoroughly enjoyed the Wisconsin in Scotland reunion held at UW-River Falls. I met up with friends, ate great food (and weird food, like haggis), and laughed a lot.

There was the story about how I turned all my underwear blue the first week I was there, and how the fire marshall was giving us a safety talk downstairs while a bed upstairs was bursting into flames because of an untended curling iron, and how I stole a road sign and then brought it back because I felt guilty, and the story about the blind cleaning service…and…and…and…

Lots of fun and laughs and getting caught up.

Today

I ain’t gonna lie. Today was mostly crabby, but there are still a few highlights:

1.|  Sitting on the porch with a fauxjito, reading a book. Still tastes good even though it had no rum.

2.|  No headaches! Sugar and artificial crap-free for six days now. I think my body is starting to get used to it.

3.| Being outside in the sunshine at the Farmer’s Market and having my skin smart a little. I didn’t get sunburnt…just a little sunpinched. I’m especially glad that I can trust Matt to find ways to make all the veggies we bought taste good.

4.| Meat loaf. Meaaaaaatttttloooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaf.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I was seriously grouchy and irritable today, and was snappish with Matt. It made me think back to a conversation I had with a friend recently.  It was regarding the phrase, “If Momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.”

I disagree. Not particularly mommas, but anybody. Just because I’m feeling bad, cranky or irritable, does not give me the right to go off on somebody and make them as miserable as I am. I’ve done it before and making others suffer because of my mood is just going to make me feel worse, and like less of a person.

I’ve also heard the phrase, “Feelings are not an excuse for bad behavior.” As much as I feel like someone should “pay” for “making” me feel a certain way, that isn’t the way kind people operate. First of all, if someone acts, that is beyond my control. The only thing I do have control over is how I react. What kind of person I am is encapsulated in that moment of reaction. I get to choose between being mean and being forgiving. I get to choose between keeping it going or ending the argument. I get to choose whether I lash out, or cut someone slack.

I did apologize to Matt, but I shouldn’t have had to. I should have made the right choice in the first place. Then there’s not an injury to repair, or a hole in the fabric to stitch up. Once said, it can never be unsaid. I want to make the right choice, so I am going to work harder at doing that.

Obstacles

Either it’s going to be a long post, or I’m-a gonna SUMMARIZE!

1.|  I like recipe hunting and researching stuff on the internet. I got to spend a little time doing that today on my day off. How did we get answers to all our stupid questions before the internet? I love the internet and want to marry it and make little baby internets with it.

(No, not really) ((But I do love it))

2.|  I went to Hu Hot for lunch! Hu haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! They’re really cool about helping me with my shrimp allergy, and they have all sorts of stuff I can eat. Like monkey tongues.

3.|  Despite aggravating computers-being-pukey-circumstances, I did turn in a draft of the proposal for the symposium. I wonder if my professor will have a chance to review it before it’s due. If not, oh well. But you miss 100% of the shots you never take.

4.|  Went over to my lovely mother-in-law’s house tonight for supper. We had a wonderful meal and a great time just hanging out. And we traded RECIPES! Did I mention that I like recipe hunting? I Think I Did!

5.| Still feeling headachey BUT my mind is calm again today. I like this wave and will ride it all the way to Hawai’i if given half a chance.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

So I drink this Good Earth Tea stuff. It’s super sweet and spicy, but one of the best parts is the tag on the tea bag. Each one has a philosophical quotation on it. If I like them, I pull them of f the string and stick them in my pants pocket and look at them throughout the day.

One from yesterday said, “"I have learned that success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome while trying to succeed." – Booker T. Washington.  That one said a lot to me.

I know my life is PRIMO, but I have had my struggles, as have we all. Sometimes I worry that I haven’t done ENOUGH with my life. Since I’m always busy, it may seem odd that I think that way. With work, grad school, and a fairly steady freelance business, I need to focus on these things that I’ve achieved in the context of the obstacles I’ve overcome to achieve them.

Also, I know that I’m not where I want to be as a person…yet. Right now I’m laying a foundation for what I want next. Even if that path seems vague and far away, I am working on it.

So how about you? Are you moving in a direction that you want to go? Are you doing things now that will enable a better, happier you later? Are you clearing obstacles? Or just trying to discover a way around them?

Just a Normal Day...For Me

Let’s get started:

1.|  NO HEADACHE!!! WOO HOO!!!!!!!!!!!! I think I might be past the worst of my sugar withdrawal. I only fantasized about chocolate frosting a few times today, and in my fantasy it was on CELERY!

(No, not really.)

2. | My delightful husband made a wonderful packed lunch for me today, which I forgot at home. Despite the error, I stuck to my eating plan NO PROBSKI.  And I didn’t even have to gnaw my arm off!

3.|  I was so busy at work that time went by very quickly and I got a lot of junky crappy stupid junk done.

4.|  Stirfry for supper! HOLLA! We got to eat outside on the porch! DOUBLE HOLLA!!

5. | Best of all, I felt full before the food was gone at each of my meals…and I Actually Stopped Eating the Food That Was Still in Front of Me. Can you tell my brain has been scrambled by this turn of events?  In addition, I’ve been walking about with my mouth agape, and my eyeballs hanging out by their springs. I am just THAT surprised.

6.|  I’m enjoying a cup of licorice spice tea in the mug My Mom gave me. It is pale green, and says the word  JOY on one side and has the Chinese character for “joy” on the other side. At least I hope so. Since I don’t read Chinese, it could very well say, “subtle bicycle armpits,” or “fenced pewter cello” and I wouldn’t know. It probably says, “Your country owes us several trillion dollars. Enjoy your tea before we round you up and sell you all off, organ by organ.”

On second thought, I think I’ll stick with JOY.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Today I was calm. For most of the day, anyway. There were a few irritants, but it was mainly a roll-with-it-y kind of a day.

Lately my brain has been behaving kind of like those squirrels who were goofing around in my backyard the other day. It’s been hopping around in circles…round and round…busy, anxious, worried. Today, it was like the squirrels were having a calm little tea party (the nice kind), sitting at a white-painted-cast-iron patio set, sipping daintily at steaming cups of Valium Tea.

Yes, I know  there is no such thing, but wouldn’t it be funny? Of course it would be no time at all before they’d have slid to the fronts of the chairs, with an arm hooked over the back, head tilted toward the sun, eyes closed, with their little tongues hanging out.

So, my brain was calm. Answers to questions seemed obvious. There was very little dithering and indecisiveness. I was able to follow a thought path from the time a conversation was sidetracked by a related story ALLLLLLLLLL the way back to the point I was trying to make. Two or three times!! I know, right?!

That makes for a mighty nice day. Nothing big deal, but just enjoyably normal.

How about you? What’s your criteria for an enjoyably normal day?

Sweet! Sah-weet! Schweet!

Here’s the roundup:

1.| It is my awesome sister’s birthday today! HOLLA! To celebrate I found the fake car key she had accidentally lost in my bathroom wastebasket. You don’t want to know.

2.| I was encouraged by one of my professors to submit a proposal for giving a paper at a conference. Since my compy crashed, it looks like I may not be able to do it this time, but it was a nice compliment.

3.| My husband is a wonderful cook. He made broccoli and cauliflower resemble couscous. If it weren’t for his cooking, I’d have quit this new diet Maintainable New Lifetime Way of Eating.

4.| Ricotta cheese + peanut butter + cinnamon = reason to live.

5.| My buddy Craig Ferguson. I love the filthy-mouthed Scotsman. His shenanigans are my lifeline through the hell that is sugar withdrawal. True story.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Not a whole lot funny about sugar withdrawal. My day was so focused on my physical discomfort that it was harder than usual to knock out even a few ideas. So, I’m keepin’ it short, distracting myself, and hoping I feel better tomorrow.

I kept wondering all day what it would be like to be in withdrawal from something serious. I can’t even imagine.

So: I’m thanking my lucky stars that…frosting….chocolate frosting…shortbread…dates…carrot cake…carrrottttttt caaaaaaaaaake…cream-filled bismarcks…peeeanut butttterrrrr cuuuuuupppps…

*Tremble* *Shake* *Whimper*

Workin' It

Today was my first day back after a few days of "fake-cation." Here's what I have to report:

1 |  I appreciate the fact that my workplace is flexible. I was able to change a requested day off, and nobody thought it was a big deal.

2 |  One of my co-workers took care of an onerous task that I was dreading while I was away. I hadn't asked her to do it, but I came back and it was done. So much for the time spent dreading...

3 |  I have opportunities to be outside in the sunshine a few times a day.

4 |  I was so busy today that the time went by quickly. Although it was verra noisy in the office, I still got done the most important tasks of the day. 

5 |  My new boss did something very cool for me today. No BS, and my request was honored. She made it clear that she feels I'm important and that she'll do the things that are in her power to keep me as happy as I can be there. Her actions are appreciated.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

"My life has been filled with many misfortunes, most of which never happened."  - Montaigne

So...dread. I mentioned above that I was dreading a task I am very bad at. Things with too many steps to remember are frustrating to me. Even more frustrating was the fact that I had wasted time dreading it. It never occurred to me that my co-worker would have taken care of it.

My overactive imagination dreams up scenarios that usually never come to pass. There have been times where I have planned a tough conversation, only to have the person not show up for work that day. I've been nervous about meetings that were cancelled, plans that were jettisoned, tasks that were re-assigned.

What a colossal waste of my time. But how to stop it? I've been working on being more aware of the present. Sometimes I'm successful and sometimes I'm not. This morning I woke up at 4 a.m. worried about things that really didn't merit attention at that time in the morning. I'm not good at problem solving at that time of the day, and being awake that early just made it harder to take on the day.

What usually works for me is to tell myself, "you can worry about that tomorrow after 9 a.m." It almost always does the trick. The other thing that works is to keep a notepad by the bed, and jot down worries as they come. Even better is to take some time out of the day - only a set amount of time - and worry my brains out onto a piece of paper.

I'm actually glad I had that bout with insomnia. It reminded me of the work I need to do to take care of myself and avoid dread.

What about you? Do you have any tried-and-true ways to put out the dread-fires before they fry your brain to a crisp? Let me know in the comments below.

Thanks, Everybody!

Here’s the roundup:

1|  I am extremely flattered and grateful that some of you have told me that you like this blog. Since it is both fun to write, and people like it…well, that’s pretty happymaking, right there.

2 |  So far on the new eating plan, I’m not hungry at all. It is kind of weirding me out, but I am grateful that my stomach hasn’t: a.) complained too much, b.) been upset, or c.) crawled up my esophagus and found someplace else to live.

3 |  Cooking brings me joy. I love the way my house smells. I love the process. I enjoy the mission of gathering everything I need and then composing something delicious. I love the way Matt and I work together in the kitchen. We know each other well enough that it is an intricate, coordinated dance. We cooperate effortlessly, sweeping by one another, moving aside and around, without actually touching, but feeling intimate just the same.

4 |  Got to sit on the porch and read a cheesy mystery novel for a while, out in the sunshine.

5 |  Despite the fact that my feet hurt pretty badly, taking a walk with Matt after supper was nice. It gave us unplugged time to chat, make decisions, solve problems and gawp at the neighbors’ gardens.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Work is the single-most difficult area for me to find happiness right now. I miss being a full-time writer. I miss the solitude of that profession, and the fact that the only demands that are placed on you are the ones you place on yourself. I struggle with it every day.

What about you? Are you one of the lucky ones who loves what you do? If you don’t love it, are there enough parts of it that don’t suck to make it worth your time? Are you able to separate who you are from what you do? Are you just there for the paycheck?

I go back tomorrow after a few days off. I am determined to find something that makes me happy. Check in tomorrow to see if I can do it.

Knowing When You Have it Good?

Here’s the take for today:

.5 | This was half yesterday and half today, so I’m putting it at .5. It’s called “Perfectimundo,” and it occurs when I have clean sheets, clean jammies, and clean me, all in the same bed together. Bliss!

1 | I got to stay in my pj’s until about one p.m. today.

2 | I had the chance to laugh with my sister today. She’s funny. We don’t have the same sense of humor, but we do. I know that sounds weird, but we can pretty much always make each other laugh. We also accomplished a lot today, and that made her happy.

3 | My car has this feature where the volume on the cd player comes up slowly when you first start the ignition, so you don’t pee your pants when you forget you were jamming out last time you were in the car.  Also, singing out loud in the car. Big happy payload on that.

4 | The weather here today has turned out gloriously. It is a perfect temperature and the sunlight is beautiful.

5 | Commercials! I only have Netflix for t.v., so when I get to watch commercials after having not seen them for a long time, I’m just gobsmacked. Matt and I went out for dinner, and we sat at the bar. I couldn’t even hear the commercials but I was still agog. Like this one for Toshiba that has zombies in it? What is up with that!?! Hilarious!

6 | The Last Supper. You know the one. The meal right before the day where you’re starting your new diet Lifelong Maintainable New Way of Eating!!! !! !

It’s one of the few times when I’m not dieting engaging in my Lifelong Maintainable New Way of Eating that I can indulge and not feel guilty. Not even a little bit.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

One of my student workers bought me a gift. It was a magnetic to do list, with a picture of a 1950s woman smiling. The caption says “Happy? If by happy, you mean trapped with no means of escape, then yes. I’m happy.”

I was reminded of that quote when I was thinking about today’s post. Although the jokey caption is kind of snarky, it begs the question: “What qualifies as happy?” Is it indulgence in a favorite pastime, like reading or watching t.v.? Or is that just an escape? When I’m upset, I listen to podcasts and play solitaire to get away from my thoughts. I wouldn’t say it makes me happy, but it keeps unhappiness at bay. Is mitigating unhappiness the same as being happy?

What about stuff like cleaning? Although I didn’t “enjoy” cleaning my basement and putting away all Matt’s tools, I did get a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment. It enabled him to work on a bunch of projects he would otherwise not have been able to. Is ‘satisfied with a job well done’ happy? And if so, boy howdy, I sure could get super-happy all over my kitchen floor.

How about being nice to somebody you really, really don’t like? Even though the experience is probably painful, getting to the end of it and thinking, “I handled that well,” can be satisfying. But does that qualify as happy? Are being happy and being nice the same thing? I don’t think so, but they have to be related.

I guess I’ll just have to decide as I go along. What about you? What, for you, counts as happiness? Does it depend on all the stars aligning and everything being perfect? Or can you string together the intermittent pearls of life’s simple pleasures and create a necklace to hang over your heart?

Finding the Gold in the Silt

Today’s hunt for happiness was extremely challenging, since I started the day with an absolutely nasty headache. I thought I caught it soon enough with migraine pills, but it just hung on and on. Ice pack: some relief but still wicked. Allergy remedy next: no good. Relaxation mp3: some relief. Internet search revealed that I was also rocking some dehydration. Water brought it under control enough to make it out to my nephew’s birthday for more sweaty work in the hot with a bunch of bugs biting me.

As much as it sucked to have a rampaging headache barely under control and then have to function around other people, I managed to scoop some happiness marrow out of the bones of this day:

1| Ice cream cake. With the crunchy + fudge in the middle. Frunch? Crudge? Neither word is too appetizing, but I like the sound of them anyway.

2| Amelia the Dog. I’ll be frank: I’m a cat person. Dyed in the wool. But Amelia is utterly charming. She is my sister-in-law’s chocolate lab, and she’s only one year old. When we were leaving the party, I kicked her ball off the porch and she went ape nuts going after it. She brought it back most of the way, put down the ball, and sat down, looking at me.  

I told her “bring me the ball!” in that way you talk to dogs, all excited and encouraging. She trotted over to me. I said “no, go get me the ball.” She knew from my voice that it wasn’t quite right, so she went over by the ball. I called her again. She started over without the ball again. “No, bring me the ball.” She went back, trying to figure it out. Finally, she bit the ball and I said, “atta girl!” and she brought it over. I said, “drop it.” And she did! Right away!

And so I kicked it over and over, the sunset dappling golden through the trees on the property. Every time she brought it back, I said the words I’d said before. And she remembered! It was like magic! Did I mention that she’s only one? I bet she gets into a good college!

3| That Smile. My husband gifts me with this specific smile once in a while. It’s one of my favorites. If it were a recipe, it would go like this:

Combine one part pride in your wife, with one part encouragement. Smother the whole mess in warmth and add a dash of eye twinkle. In a pinch, a smidgen of mischief can be substituted for the twinkle.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++.

The purpose of this exercise has been to help me pay attention more: to focus on the things that are good about my life instead of the parts that bring me down. As I trudged up and down a steep hill, helping to build a birthday gift/tree fort for my nephew, with my ankles complaining and the mosquitoes feasting, I wondered I what I would say tonight. But I continued to leaf through the pages of my day, looking for the positives…and it worked! I found them!

On a related note: I inadvertently ate/gacked a bug on one of the trips up the hill. They had been unrelentingly eating me, so I guess turnabout is fair play.

How about you? Eat any good bugs lately? Seriously, do you think that if you had to report to someone at the end of the day, you’d be able to report more on the joys than on the complaints? Give it a whirl and let me know what you find out.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

P.S. Happy Golden Birthday, Mowgli!

Today’s Catch: 6

I managed to identify | recognize | be mindful for six different happy-making things today.

1 | Take my word for it: having a day off can really go a long way toward bagging some happy. I got to wake up gradually, instead of stumbling out of bed muzzy and confused, anxious about what the day would bring.

2 | In another attempt at happiness, I helped someone today. There’s a Chinese proverb that says, “the scent of a rose will always stay on the hand of the giver.” Helping someone is said to be one of the pathways to happiness. In Gretchen Rubin’s Happiness Project, her “Second Splendid Truth” states that, “One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy; One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.”  

My mom needed some help with some planting, so my husband and I went over and created a new bed, and added hostas to an established bed. The flies were biting, I had sweat running down into my eyes and off my nose into the hosta holes, most certainly boosting their chances of success a millionfold. Although the circumstances of the work were less than ideal it looked pretty good when we were finished, and it made my mom really happy.

3 | Later, ran into some wildlife lols (wildlols?). Out in my backyard (which looks like it belongs in Narnia), I saw three squirrels…wait for it…squirreling around. They were jumping over each other in a fluid, flash-fast game of leap frog (leap squirrel?). One was white and the other two were gray. The coolness of it had me smiling.

When I was little, I loved squirrels, which I called “skooers.” They were regular features in our family argot: “You kids quit squirreling around,” or my parents would call my sister and I “squirrel bait.” It took me way longer than it should have to realize that they were saying we were nuts. Well played, Mom and Dad…well played.

4 | My friend’s biopsy came back NEGATOR! Suck it, cancer!

5 | Me and my cat, Wally, chillin’ on the couch with a book.

6 | I made someone laugh today who REALLY needed it.

 

P.S. Doing this at the end of the day might be one of the Best Ideas I’ve Had EVER.

Today's Happiness Capture

Tonight, my husband and I went to a free concert at Phoenix Park. Three bands played in the grassy amphitheatre with the labyrinth dance floor. The swollen Chippewa River and a slipping sunset served as a background.

We met my parents there, and my mom bought me ice cream (Mackinac Island Fudge). It was a beautiful night, and it was fun to watch the people enjoying themselves.

Kids danced and bopped beach balls to each other on the bricks of the labyrinth. Band members gamely tossed or kicked balls back into the fray, without missing a beat.

Later, after the bands were done and the sun had set, fire spinners performed for the remaining stragglers who were enjoying themselves too much to leave. There were poi spinners and hoop spinners. Two of the poi spinners managed to set themselves on fire, but kept their cool, extinguished the flames, and kept the poi spinning. Their poise (pun intended) was impressive.

Happy accomplished!

Catching Happiness

Well, it has been a year of weirdness and setbacks, so happiness has been elusive. I've been following the Happiness Project with Gretchen Rubin, and have mostly just lurked.

Much of happiness is perception and I believe that it takes work, both to be happy and to recognize happiness when it is happening. So, I am going to see how many days in a row I can report on A.) Something that made me happy; B.) Something I did in the pursuit of happiness; C.) Celebrate a success.

I will find something every day that makes me happy.